The Rabbits had cruised through competition thus far this season reeling off 12 straight wins all by double digits. Bolstering the number one rated offense and defense in the nation, the unranked Turtles were supposed to be a mere warm-up for the national championship the following week.
After the first quarter it seemed as if the rout was on at Hare stadium. Up 21-0 after 15 minutes of football, the party was already starting all around the stadium. Head coach Bugs Bunny had already subbed in his second string players and was celebrating with the starters. Then a funny thing happened.
It started to rain. Hard.
Suddenly, the ground turned to mush and the speedy Rabbits couldn't find a foothold and couldn't keep the ball in their hands. The Turtles gained momentum minute by minute. The lead had been cut to 21-10 by halftime. This prompted Coach Bunny to insert his starters back into the game but it wouldn't change much.
By the end of the third quarter the score was tied 28 all thanks to mishaps from the Rabbits and momentum continued to pile up against them as the Turtles were just getting started. With their perfect season hanging in the balance, the Rabbits could not stop the Turtles from gaining yards and they went on a clock draining drive. They crossed midfield with less than five minutes to go in the fourth quarter. Five turned to four. Four turned to three. Plodding along they picked up first down after first down.
With less than 10 seconds left, the Turtles lined up for the game deciding field goal. Time seemed to stand still as the hopes of both teams hung in the air and the ball turned end over end on its way towards the uprights.
When the ball hit the turf the celebrations began again. This time from the Turtle bench. They erupted in elation as the Rabbits perfect season had been tarnished by the hated rivals as the kick had been struck true and through the goalposts.
The loss will surely drop the Rabbits from the top four teams and ultimately keep them from participating in the inaugural Animal Football Playoff. The upset spring boards the Turtles into the Top 25 for the first time in program history.
When asked afterwards what he told his team when all hope seemed to be lost, head coach of the Turtles explained, "I told them what I have been telling them all season. 'Slow and steady wins the race'. That rang true today for the Animal Football world to see".
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| Coach Bugs Bunny after the Rabbits fell 31-28 to the unranked Turtles (Sketchport). |
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Author's Note: This story was adapted from The Hare and the Tortoise found in Aesop's Fables by Joseph Jacobs (1894). The story is about a Hare and a Tortoise who decide to race. The Tortoise ends up winning by just plodding along even though the Hare is much faster. The Hare took a break knowing he was faster than the Tortoise but fell asleep and woke up to the Tortoise crossing the finish line before him. I took this concept and decided to turn it into a sports article breaking the news of a humongous upset in the "Animal Football League". Everyone knows this story more than likely and I thought it would be fun to write the race in a different form of sport.
Will, very good job on your storytelling. Your first line and the title of the story were very hooking and made me want to keep reading to see what happened in the season. I enjoyed how you incorporated bugs bunny, very creative. Also, I am glad that there was a twist in the story. You never know when it is going to rain during a game, and just like in your story, it can be a game changer. During the story, I was able to picture what was going on, you did a great job of explaining the play by play. I like how you incorporated dialogue into the last paragraph to show the theme of the story, “Slow and steady wins the race”. I am not an expert on quotation marks but I would close the quotation off. As shown below.
ReplyDelete“I told them what I have been telling them all season. ‘Slow and steady wins the race’.”
In the author’s note, you assumed that everyone knew the story of “Animal Football League.” I would suggest to post a link to this story in case someone does not know what you are talking about. That way they can understand where you are getting your concept and ideas from.
Great Story! If your petroleum engineering gig doesn't work out you can always go write in Sports for your local newspaper. The title hooked me from the beginning and made me want to read the story. After the line "Suddenly, ..." I read at a faster pace. I don't know if you meant it to happen that way, but all of a sudden I wanted to know what was happening even though I knew the turtles were going to win. I've always been a bugs bunny fan myself :D
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome new spin on the classic story of the Tortoise and the Hare. Almost everyone is familiar with the story and message behind this story so a new take on it must have been somewhat challenging. You use a lot of good action words that keeps your story very captivating. I hope you keep being creative throughout the course cause this was really good!
ReplyDeleteWill,
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story. Especially having just watched the SuperBowl, it was great to read a story that took an older story into a way that is fitting with the current day and age. While the story was great because of the feelings that you used to contrast one team with another, there seemed to be something lacking in it because there was not one particular player that the reader could focus on. In every football game there is always one, or two, star players on both teams that the announcers focus on. If you had that in your story, I am sure it would add another level of interest. The only other thing I can think of to add to your story to improve it is to try adding something to what happened after the game, like a post game interview. While yes, the focus is on the game itself, and thus the adage, it may add something else to your story for the story's sake.
This was such a creative idea! Being a huge football fan, I think your idea to spin this story into another sports storyline was great. The story was really lighthearted, but the voice and personality with which you wrote it gave the story momentum. As the story continued on, it seemed like the natural flow of the story began to pick up the pace, which was a really nice touch (even if it wasn't intentional). Also, great job on adding descriptive details to the football game because tons of people reading this have either been to a football game or watched one on tv, so they know that exact feeling from both teams in this story. The only thing I could suggest would be to maybe add a little bit of dialogue to the story to make it more of the sports article like you mentioned in the author's note. You could maybe even throw in something from Bugs Bunny of perhaps what they did wrong in the game, like a post game interview. Otherwise, I think you did a fantastic job! It was a really fun read!
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