Hey Will! This is my first visit to your storybook and my initial thought is that this is going to be really neat. For this comment i'm focusing on your cover page and site design because I think your introduction was fabulous. I loved how you wrote it and wouldn't change it. So with your cover page... First off, I want to suggest you alter your title from The Legend of "Calico"Jack Rackman to The Legend of Jack "Calico" Rackman. Calico is his nickname right? If so, it's normal to put the nickname between the first and last name. This is not a big deal, just a little tip because it seemed odd to me. Otherwise, I really liked the image you chose for your cover page. I think it is a great lead into what kind of storytelling you're doing and from what time period. However, I think the picture and theme of your storybook seem a little strange compared to the simplistic, modern design you chose for the site. Even still, I like that it's simple and easy to read so take that as you will.
Ok, let me start out by saying that when I started to read your Introduction, I wasn't sure if I was going to stay interested in your storyline. With that said, boy, was I pleasantly surprised!!! Your storyline had kind of a Captain Jack Sparrow kind of feel to it and I really liked that aspect. Who doesn't like that movie or Johnny Depp, for that matter! Anyway...I really liked the fact that your main character had two strong women fighting right alongside Calico and that they enjoyed the pirate life. When I got to the end of your Introduction, I was left sitting on the edge of my seat wanting to know more!!! Who was the man who walked up to the table? What was he going to say to the group? Was one of the women pirates still alive? These were all questions running through my mind when I got to the end of your Introduction. I can't wait to read more and I will definitely be back to see how your storyline progresses. Great work! One thing I wanted to agree with Bria on though, I think the nickname Calico should also be in-between his first & last name. I think that's the more common way of writing it.
Great ending to your story! I really liked how you posed questions at the end, making the reader think about what really happened to Mary Read. I think it’s great to have the story left open ended because it lets the reader use their own imagination to decide what happened. I think you did an excellent job with your last sentence in the story, “order another round so I can tell you about Anne Bonny.” That was a really great way to set up your next story and keep the reader coming back to find out what’s going to happen there. It’s kind of like a teaser and it also helps your theme fit together nicely. From your author’s note, I’m really looking forward to reading about the adventure with all three of your characters. It seems like you put some thought into how you wanted your portfolio to be and it shows. Great job on this post and on your portfolio overall!
Will, I think you did a great job of setting up all of your stories. The introduction provides a lot of great information that really helps the reader get a feel for the setting and some of the characters involved. Having a mysterious man telling the stories in an old tavern seems like a great point of view for this type of story as well. The end of the introduction does a great job leading the reader right into the first story, and I feel like the end of the first story will transition nicely into the second story as well. I didn’t realize that Mary Read and all of the other characters were actual people, so I am glad that you included the Wikipedia link in your author’s note so that readers can explore the page and learn about her. Overall I think you did a great job organizing your introduction and first story, and I am looking forward to reading more.
Hey, Will! Your storybook is absolutely phenomenal! After reading the introduction, I was hooked. There’s so much detail, mystery, and adventure associated with pirates. The picture also gave off the haunted sort of feel. A minor suggestion for the second story, I would change ”word has it read was…” to “word has it that Read was…” It was also a tad bit confusing when you are busy explaining how Mary broke out of prison and then you said “well, actually, I do.” As for your author’s note, I was very impressed how you were already thinking ahead enough when writing the first story to plan on reuniting all three for the final story. Long story short, the story and introduction themselves were very fascinating. I would encourage you to possibly make the text/font stand out a bit more so either increase font size and give a background color, or do something that makes it less black-and-white. It is easy to read, but it is not too eye-catching. Other than that, your content is great!
I like the setup of your website, nice and clean, and you even used the oval picture frame which was a nice change from the ever present square. On the Introduction, you might indent or italicize the part that tells “Calico” Jack Rackman’s story so that it is apparent that this is a separate story from the main story because I spent the whole time reading trying to remember that you had double spaced, thinking it was on mistake. I also think that the font on the Mary Read page is smaller than the font on the Introduction or even a different font entirely. The Introduction font is the easier to read of the two in my opinion :) The story itself is excellent. I love the way you left the cliffhanger at the end of the Introduction! I want to know the truth! LOL The story of Mary Read was very interesting too. I am now wondering what happened to those two babies!
Concerning the story Mary Read, I will say that you did a wonderful job of getting the audience immerse in the world of the story: you keep the tone of the narrator consistent as well as the sense of the era that the story is being told.
There the primary area that you might want to give more attention to is the pacing of the story. For example, the first two paragraphs just seem like a long, drawn-out lead up to the main story. The main reason the intro, and a lot of the rest of the story, comes out this way is because you're "telling" the reader what's happening, not "showing." In other words, it sounds like you're trying to relay as much plot exposition as quickly as possible, and it's tiring for a reader to constantly absorb new information instead of see that information explored in situations involving the character.
I enjoyed your story and introduction quite a bit. Just as an overall, I think the biggest thing you're gonna want to do is go back through and check for grammar issues. The real only problems I saw seemed to be with commas so if you can get that nailed down you'll be fine! From a plot standpoint, I thought your introduction did a great job of setting up the story and I really liked the final line from the mysterious guy in the corner. The first story was really well written and helped me understand exactly who Mary Read was. The writing itself for both is really descriptive and helps me actually visualize what's happening in the story. It made a lot of sense to me that you followed the general outline set up by Wikipedia and your other source, and I thought the change at the end has the potential to set up your fourth story really well!
Wow! What a great introduction! Personally, I have a pretty natural interest in all things pirate, so I have read some stories about Calico Jack and Anne Bonny. I'm going to have to revisit this storybook in future week's to read some more about these pirate adventures. Anyways, I love the introduction. It did a great job of setting the scene and was very interesting. I thought the little cliffhanger from the other guy in the bar made for a great transition from introduction into the stories. There were a couple places that needed commas and a spot where the word tense seemed off, but seriously it's a great idea for a storybook. I actually like your very simple black and white storybook. It fits the pirate-type very well. The picture for your introduction was cool too. The shape of the picture almost makes me feel like I’m looking through a window.
I love the design of your website and blog! I like the background photo of the books...books are my favorite! Going into bookstores is one of my favorite things to do! I also think it is very fitting for this blog as well. It also adds a lot to to the feel and environment of the blog.
Hey, Will! I absolutely love your stories. I have already read the introduction and the first story before (and commented on both of those), so I’m going to focus on the second story for this… Anyways, I love the detail you included of Anne’s background and how she got into the pirate life. Those details were great and helped me understand Anne as a whole. However, I would recommend capitalizating “republic” when you referred to Nassau as the “Pirates’ republic.” Also, although the background was great, I felt like there could have been more information about the fight and how the crew came together since it seemed that more time was spent on her past than the actual details that the third story will be building off of…does that make sense? Anyways, besides that I’m super impressed and am very excited for your third story – keep up the great work!
Hello Will. Your storybook’s layout was good as far as the functionality of it, though if I had any suggestions it would be to add a little more darker colors. I wouldn’t change the colors, just darken them up a little. I am a huge pirate story fan, and as soon as I saw your title I recognized the name, not to mention I am a fan of Black Sails so it peaked my interest right away. Your introduction did a good job of giving backstory of the pirate without sounding like a history book. Good choice in using an active character to narrate this introduction. Also it ended with a bit of a cliffhanger, so that set up the rest of your storybook quite well. I think your storybook is one that will be unique in this class and I think you have done a good job overall on it.
This storybook is fantastic! I read the Introduction and the story of Mary Read. The Introduction alone had me hungry for more of the pirates' stories! I've been really impressed with the storybooks so far because of the uniqueness of the plots. I feel like I took the easy way out by choosing a portfolio. It's great that you got the stories from a different place other than the UnTextbook. It's also great that Wikipedia is a credible source in this class. Fiction is great like that.
There is usually some criticism when it comes to commenting on storybooks, but yours is wonderful. I didn't even see an grammatical errors, so I'll just keep talking about my favorite parts. The ending of Mary Read's story was so sneaky! I love that the character at the bar had his own idea about what happened. He may be onto something! It must have been difficult to get all three of their stories to line up. You did a great job! I can't wait to read more!
Hi, Will! You did a great job with your storybook. I had never heard of "Calico" Jack Rackham until now and I must say that he seemed like quite the guy. Your introduction was very informative and also entertaining. The whole time I was reading it, I could not help but think of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. "Calico" Jack's love for rum sounded very similar to Jack Sparrow's character in the movies. Before Mary Read joined the party, "Calico" Jack and Anne Bonny were like the Bonnie and Clyde of the seas. One of my favorite lines of the Mary Read story was when you said "I think Captain Jack’s jaw shook the boat when it hit the deck floor." It made me laugh and also did a good job of getting the point across. The narrator of your storybook is perfect. Overall, I think your storybook is really good. I couldn't find anything I thought you needed to correct. I can't wait to read the rest of it!
I'm glad I chose your Storybook as my third choice because it is great! Your title immediately caught my eye. I had the urge to find out just who it was you were talking about. Great job coming up with a catchy title! Your image on the first page went perfectly with the title. The title makes a bold statement, and the picture complements it perfectly.
Your introduction flowed very nicely. The attention to detail made it very easy for me to immerse myself in the writing. Also, the characters' lives made me just want to take a nap. It sounds like they were very busy plundering and whatnot. The last part, where the old man asked if everyone wanted to hear the truth was the perfect transition into the rest of your Storybook. Seriously, great job with this! I can’t wait to read more of your material in the future.
Will, I think that your storybook is awesome. I love that you chose to write about not only pirates but, female pirates! When I was brainstorming for my storybook project, I thought about writing about female pirates but in the end I chose witches but, I am really glad that someone else chose this subject to give everyone a chance to read about these characters. As I was reading your story, I couldn’t help but think that Mary Read was the “Mulan” of the pirate world. She had to disguise herself as a man in order to do what she loved. Then she found a husband and had to settle down but couldn’t help but go back to the sea just like Mulan who went back to fight for her country. I thought the picture you used was cool as well. It really shows how tough and badass Mary was. I can’t wait to read about Anne Bonny. Good job.
I’ve already looked through your portfolio once because I thought the name you chose was pretty intriguing and I enjoyed reading your stories just as much this time as I did the first time I read through your stories. I really enjoyed the story “Calico” Jack Rackham but I wish that it would have been a little bit longer because it seemed to be just a little bit short. I wish that your author’s note on that story would have included a little bit more information about the changes you made to your story from the original one. I did like that you used information and bits of the story from two different readings because that isn’t something I’ve really seen anyone do before. Overall I think you’ve done a great job and set up really interesting stories and characters and I really enjoy keeping up with your blog!
Hi, Will! You have a really cool storybook! I like that you chose a pirate theme. That's really unique among the storybooks I've seen in the Myth-Folklore class. Your frame is excellent. A bunch of guys telling pirate stories is a really good way to introduce the characters you later write stories about. And you have a great narrator, an old pirate who can tell us the stories firsthand. I read all of the stories you have so far, and all three were very well-written. You do a great job of including all of the necessary background information without bogging down the story. It all flowed really well. You also chose very interesting characters to write about, so each time I finished one of the stories, I couldn't wait to keep reading the next one. I'm definitely excited to see what happens in your final story! Nice job, Will!
Hey Will! This is my first visit to your storybook and my initial thought is that this is going to be really neat. For this comment i'm focusing on your cover page and site design because I think your introduction was fabulous. I loved how you wrote it and wouldn't change it. So with your cover page... First off, I want to suggest you alter your title from The Legend of "Calico"Jack Rackman to The Legend of Jack "Calico" Rackman. Calico is his nickname right? If so, it's normal to put the nickname between the first and last name. This is not a big deal, just a little tip because it seemed odd to me. Otherwise, I really liked the image you chose for your cover page. I think it is a great lead into what kind of storytelling you're doing and from what time period. However, I think the picture and theme of your storybook seem a little strange compared to the simplistic, modern design you chose for the site. Even still, I like that it's simple and easy to read so take that as you will.
ReplyDeleteOk, let me start out by saying that when I started to read your Introduction, I wasn't sure if I was going to stay interested in your storyline. With that said, boy, was I pleasantly surprised!!! Your storyline had kind of a Captain Jack Sparrow kind of feel to it and I really liked that aspect. Who doesn't like that movie or Johnny Depp, for that matter! Anyway...I really liked the fact that your main character had two strong women fighting right alongside Calico and that they enjoyed the pirate life. When I got to the end of your Introduction, I was left sitting on the edge of my seat wanting to know more!!! Who was the man who walked up to the table? What was he going to say to the group? Was one of the women pirates still alive? These were all questions running through my mind when I got to the end of your Introduction. I can't wait to read more and I will definitely be back to see how your storyline progresses. Great work!
ReplyDeleteOne thing I wanted to agree with Bria on though, I think the nickname Calico should also be in-between his first & last name. I think that's the more common way of writing it.
Great ending to your story! I really liked how you posed questions at the end, making the reader think about what really happened to Mary Read. I think it’s great to have the story left open ended because it lets the reader use their own imagination to decide what happened. I think you did an excellent job with your last sentence in the story, “order another round so I can tell you about Anne Bonny.” That was a really great way to set up your next story and keep the reader coming back to find out what’s going to happen there. It’s kind of like a teaser and it also helps your theme fit together nicely. From your author’s note, I’m really looking forward to reading about the adventure with all three of your characters. It seems like you put some thought into how you wanted your portfolio to be and it shows. Great job on this post and on your portfolio overall!
ReplyDeleteWill, I think you did a great job of setting up all of your stories. The introduction provides a lot of great information that really helps the reader get a feel for the setting and some of the characters involved. Having a mysterious man telling the stories in an old tavern seems like a great point of view for this type of story as well. The end of the introduction does a great job leading the reader right into the first story, and I feel like the end of the first story will transition nicely into the second story as well. I didn’t realize that Mary Read and all of the other characters were actual people, so I am glad that you included the Wikipedia link in your author’s note so that readers can explore the page and learn about her. Overall I think you did a great job organizing your introduction and first story, and I am looking forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHey, Will! Your storybook is absolutely phenomenal! After reading the introduction, I was hooked. There’s so much detail, mystery, and adventure associated with pirates. The picture also gave off the haunted sort of feel. A minor suggestion for the second story, I would change ”word has it read was…” to “word has it that Read was…” It was also a tad bit confusing when you are busy explaining how Mary broke out of prison and then you said “well, actually, I do.” As for your author’s note, I was very impressed how you were already thinking ahead enough when writing the first story to plan on reuniting all three for the final story. Long story short, the story and introduction themselves were very fascinating. I would encourage you to possibly make the text/font stand out a bit more so either increase font size and give a background color, or do something that makes it less black-and-white. It is easy to read, but it is not too eye-catching. Other than that, your content is great!
ReplyDeleteI like the setup of your website, nice and clean, and you even used the oval picture frame which was a nice change from the ever present square. On the Introduction, you might indent or italicize the part that tells “Calico” Jack Rackman’s story so that it is apparent that this is a separate story from the main story because I spent the whole time reading trying to remember that you had double spaced, thinking it was on mistake. I also think that the font on the Mary Read page is smaller than the font on the Introduction or even a different font entirely. The Introduction font is the easier to read of the two in my opinion :)
ReplyDeleteThe story itself is excellent. I love the way you left the cliffhanger at the end of the Introduction! I want to know the truth! LOL The story of Mary Read was very interesting too. I am now wondering what happened to those two babies!
Concerning the story Mary Read, I will say that you did a wonderful job of getting the audience immerse in the world of the story: you keep the tone of the narrator consistent as well as the sense of the era that the story is being told.
ReplyDeleteThere the primary area that you might want to give more attention to is the pacing of the story. For example, the first two paragraphs just seem like a long, drawn-out lead up to the main story. The main reason the intro, and a lot of the rest of the story, comes out this way is because you're "telling" the reader what's happening, not "showing." In other words, it sounds like you're trying to relay as much plot exposition as quickly as possible, and it's tiring for a reader to constantly absorb new information instead of see that information explored in situations involving the character.
Hey Will,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story and introduction quite a bit. Just as an overall, I think the biggest thing you're gonna want to do is go back through and check for grammar issues. The real only problems I saw seemed to be with commas so if you can get that nailed down you'll be fine! From a plot standpoint, I thought your introduction did a great job of setting up the story and I really liked the final line from the mysterious guy in the corner. The first story was really well written and helped me understand exactly who Mary Read was. The writing itself for both is really descriptive and helps me actually visualize what's happening in the story. It made a lot of sense to me that you followed the general outline set up by Wikipedia and your other source, and I thought the change at the end has the potential to set up your fourth story really well!
Wow! What a great introduction! Personally, I have a pretty natural interest in all things pirate, so I have read some stories about Calico Jack and Anne Bonny. I'm going to have to revisit this storybook in future week's to read some more about these pirate adventures.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I love the introduction. It did a great job of setting the scene and was very interesting. I thought the little cliffhanger from the other guy in the bar made for a great transition from introduction into the stories. There were a couple places that needed commas and a spot where the word tense seemed off, but seriously it's a great idea for a storybook.
I actually like your very simple black and white storybook. It fits the pirate-type very well. The picture for your introduction was cool too. The shape of the picture almost makes me feel like I’m looking through a window.
I love the design of your website and blog! I like the background photo of the books...books are my favorite! Going into bookstores is one of my favorite things to do! I also think it is very fitting for this blog as well. It also adds a lot to to the feel and environment of the blog.
ReplyDeleteHey, Will! I absolutely love your stories. I have already read the introduction and the first story before (and commented on both of those), so I’m going to focus on the second story for this… Anyways, I love the detail you included of Anne’s background and how she got into the pirate life. Those details were great and helped me understand Anne as a whole. However, I would recommend capitalizating “republic” when you referred to Nassau as the “Pirates’ republic.” Also, although the background was great, I felt like there could have been more information about the fight and how the crew came together since it seemed that more time was spent on her past than the actual details that the third story will be building off of…does that make sense? Anyways, besides that I’m super impressed and am very excited for your third story – keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHello Will. Your storybook’s layout was good as far as the functionality of it, though if I had any suggestions it would be to add a little more darker colors. I wouldn’t change the colors, just darken them up a little. I am a huge pirate story fan, and as soon as I saw your title I recognized the name, not to mention I am a fan of Black Sails so it peaked my interest right away. Your introduction did a good job of giving backstory of the pirate without sounding like a history book. Good choice in using an active character to narrate this introduction. Also it ended with a bit of a cliffhanger, so that set up the rest of your storybook quite well. I think your storybook is one that will be unique in this class and I think you have done a good job overall on it.
ReplyDeleteThis storybook is fantastic! I read the Introduction and the story of Mary Read. The Introduction alone had me hungry for more of the pirates' stories! I've been really impressed with the storybooks so far because of the uniqueness of the plots. I feel like I took the easy way out by choosing a portfolio. It's great that you got the stories from a different place other than the UnTextbook. It's also great that Wikipedia is a credible source in this class. Fiction is great like that.
ReplyDeleteThere is usually some criticism when it comes to commenting on storybooks, but yours is wonderful. I didn't even see an grammatical errors, so I'll just keep talking about my favorite parts. The ending of Mary Read's story was so sneaky! I love that the character at the bar had his own idea about what happened. He may be onto something! It must have been difficult to get all three of their stories to line up. You did a great job! I can't wait to read more!
Hi, Will! You did a great job with your storybook. I had never heard of "Calico" Jack Rackham until now and I must say that he seemed like quite the guy. Your introduction was very informative and also entertaining. The whole time I was reading it, I could not help but think of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. "Calico" Jack's love for rum sounded very similar to Jack Sparrow's character in the movies. Before Mary Read joined the party, "Calico" Jack and Anne Bonny were like the Bonnie and Clyde of the seas. One of my favorite lines of the Mary Read story was when you said "I think Captain Jack’s jaw shook the boat when it hit the deck floor." It made me laugh and also did a good job of getting the point across. The narrator of your storybook is perfect. Overall, I think your storybook is really good. I couldn't find anything I thought you needed to correct. I can't wait to read the rest of it!
ReplyDeleteHey, Will!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I chose your Storybook as my third choice because it is great! Your title immediately caught my eye. I had the urge to find out just who it was you were talking about. Great job coming up with a catchy title! Your image on the first page went perfectly with the title. The title makes a bold statement, and the picture complements it perfectly.
Your introduction flowed very nicely. The attention to detail made it very easy for me to immerse myself in the writing. Also, the characters' lives made me just want to take a nap. It sounds like they were very busy plundering and whatnot. The last part, where the old man asked if everyone wanted to hear the truth was the perfect transition into the rest of your Storybook. Seriously, great job with this! I can’t wait to read more of your material in the future.
Will,
ReplyDeleteI think that your storybook is awesome. I love that you chose to write about not only pirates but, female pirates! When I was brainstorming for my storybook project, I thought about writing about female pirates but in the end I chose witches but, I am really glad that someone else chose this subject to give everyone a chance to read about these characters. As I was reading your story, I couldn’t help but think that Mary Read was the “Mulan” of the pirate world. She had to disguise herself as a man in order to do what she loved. Then she found a husband and had to settle down but couldn’t help but go back to the sea just like Mulan who went back to fight for her country. I thought the picture you used was cool as well. It really shows how tough and badass Mary was. I can’t wait to read about Anne Bonny. Good job.
I’ve already looked through your portfolio once because I thought the name you chose was pretty intriguing and I enjoyed reading your stories just as much this time as I did the first time I read through your stories. I really enjoyed the story “Calico” Jack Rackham but I wish that it would have been a little bit longer because it seemed to be just a little bit short. I wish that your author’s note on that story would have included a little bit more information about the changes you made to your story from the original one. I did like that you used information and bits of the story from two different readings because that isn’t something I’ve really seen anyone do before. Overall I think you’ve done a great job and set up really interesting stories and characters and I really enjoy keeping up with your blog!
ReplyDeleteHi, Will! You have a really cool storybook! I like that you chose a pirate theme. That's really unique among the storybooks I've seen in the Myth-Folklore class. Your frame is excellent. A bunch of guys telling pirate stories is a really good way to introduce the characters you later write stories about. And you have a great narrator, an old pirate who can tell us the stories firsthand. I read all of the stories you have so far, and all three were very well-written. You do a great job of including all of the necessary background information without bogging down the story. It all flowed really well. You also chose very interesting characters to write about, so each time I finished one of the stories, I couldn't wait to keep reading the next one. I'm definitely excited to see what happens in your final story! Nice job, Will!
ReplyDelete